Fear of Self-Doubt
Many trans people see detransitioners and feel a mirror held up to their own uncertainty. One woman who later detransitioned admits she once “hated” detrans stories because “the idea that someone that was so sure they were trans could find out they actually weren’t felt like it could be used against me” – [deleted] source [citation:05d7f492-1533-4065-be64-bda6205cab74]. The mere possibility of regret shakes the comforting “sexed-brain” story that tells them they were born in the wrong body.

Protecting the Narrative
Because transition is often framed as the only cure, detransition threatens the whole storyline. A detrans man noticed that trans people “feel threatened by our stories… They don’t want to end up in the same regret mindset” – rockandroll666 source [citation:cb1d8f18-cb60-4bab-b63b-e77dec115b30]. If one person finds peace without hormones or surgery, others might start asking, “Could I, too, be okay without them?” That question is scary, so the easiest response is to silence the person who brings it up.

“Internalized Transphobia” as a Shield
The phrase gets used like a stop sign. When someone voices doubt, friends or online commentators quickly label it “internalized transphobia.” One detrans woman recalls her FtM friend insisting her wish to stop testosterone was just that—self-hatred—because “he thought that I was detransitioning because I wanted to wear female clothes so badly” – thistle_ev source [citation:a95e86cb-2d7a-4cc9-a375-1ead883f80d3]. Calling the feeling “transphobia” keeps the focus off the uncomfortable idea that transition itself might not be right for everyone.

Gaslighting Tactics in Action
Detrans people report a playbook of subtle pressure: repeat the person’s old pronouns, warn they will regret stopping, insist they “pass too well” to turn back, or tell them they must really be non-binary instead. These statements push the detrans person into defending their own experience and away from exploring non-medical ways to feel at home in their body.

A Kinder Path Forward
Every one of these stories points to the same truth: fear, not hatred, fuels the claim of “internalized transphobia.” Recognizing that gender is a set of social expectations—not an unchangeable identity—frees all of us to step back from the pressure to medically “fix” discomfort that often has deeper roots. Detrans voices are not an attack on trans people; they are an invitation to widen the map toward self-acceptance, therapy, community, and creative gender non-conformity that needs no scalpel.