Understanding Internalized Misogyny Through Detransitioned Women's Experiences

Internalized misogyny, as described by detransitioned women, is the process of absorbing and perpetuating society’s negative beliefs about women and femininity—beliefs that can become so deeply rooted they feel like personal identity rather than external conditioning. These women explain that it often masquerades as gender dysphoria, leading them to transition or identify as male in an attempt to escape the perceived shame, weakness, or danger associated with being female.

Key Signs They Recognized in Themselves

• Contempt for femininity: Feeling ashamed of liking “girly” things (pink, makeup, dresses) and suppressing those interests to appear “not like other girls.”
• Self-hatred of female traits: Hating one’s voice, body, or socialization because they were relentlessly mocked or sexualized.
• Equating womanhood with suffering: Believing that being female inherently means weakness, victimhood, or a body that “hates you.”
• Transition motives rooted in misogyny: Wanting to be seen as “normal,” strong, or safe—goals driven by society’s mistreatment of women, not by an innate male identity.

How They Distinguish It from Disliking Sexism Detransitioners emphasize that disliking how society treats women (objectification, harassment, rigid roles) is a healthy response to sexism. Internalized misogyny, however, involves turning that societal contempt inward—looking down on femininity itself and believing women are inherently lesser. One woman clarifies: “It’s not hating what society says a woman is. It’s thinking you are different from—and better than—other women.” — Palgary [citation:b5a8d696-6878-46f9-a095-b8609895fdde]

Unlearning the Pattern The process begins with recognizing that these feelings were taught—by family, media, or peers—not innate. Healing involves:

• Reclaiming suppressed interests without shame.
• Separating personal preferences (e.g., not wanting kids) from beliefs that such choices define a woman’s worth.
• Taking responsibility to unlearn biases so they aren’t projected onto other women.

As one detransitioner summarized: “What IS my responsibility is to heal that internalized misogyny as an adult so I don’t take it out on other women. Because that’s not fair.” — purplemollusk [citation:b4527699-133d-4a0c-a8fc-f54e3b1befdd]