Escaping the “Degenerate” Label
Some gay men and lesbians say they were pushed toward transition by the fear that being homosexual made them “mentally ill, a degenerate, sex-addicted, polygamous, histrionic, lustful, hedonistic being.” “I quickly identified as ‘trans’ because being considered gay wasn’t really appealing to me… being ‘trans’ to me was about liking men but in a healthy non-degenerate hypersexual way” – GenderHurts source [citation:4417fef1-9659-407c-b86a-8a54c6b9a3d6]. In other words, the social stigma attached to same-sex attraction was so heavy that adopting a new gender felt like the only route to dignity and love.
The Fantasy of Straight Privilege
A recurring story is the hope that becoming the opposite sex will open the door to “straight privilege” and a “wider and better dating pool.” “Homosexual Transsexuals generally transition in the belief that they will attract and partner with straight men, a very common homosexual fantasy” – Lucretia123 source [citation:0d4aa1d3-74bf-4521-a4ee-ace8c63a7b68]. Whether the wish is to date straight men or to become a “transbian” who can court women without the baggage of heterosexual masculinity, the underlying motive is access to partners who would otherwise reject them.
Leaving a “Broken” Scene
Several detransitioners describe the gay male community itself as “hypersexual” or “toxic,” leading them to seek refuge in womanhood. “Part of my motivation for transition was to escape the hypersexual gay (male) community by transitioning into a ‘straight woman’ to leave the gay community behind” – Hedera_Thorn source [citation:c5cea3c6-c932-4650-ac04-6a32ea165337]. Similarly, some heterosexual males who struggle with women imagine that becoming a lesbian will solve their dating problems: “transition to become a ‘transbian’? At least you’ll get a girlfriend” – I_want_to_cry_4875 source [citation:4670b620-42e1-4d01-9940-5c5827b9d946].
State-Sanctioned Transition in Repressive Countries
In places where homosexuality is criminal, transition can be the only legal way to love someone of the same sex. “It’s illegal to be homosexual, punishable up to death, but perfectly legal to be a ‘straight’ transsexual… homophobic people are more comfortable with a transwoman being with a man than a regular man being with a man” – HeForeverBleeds source [citation:15ddae02-bc74-499b-a43d-e17ffd4d50bd]. Even there, detransitioners warn that life after transition is often harder, because the culture still refuses to treat them as the gender they sought.
A Path Toward Self-Acceptance
Taken together, these stories reveal that many transitions among homosexual people are less about an innate gender identity and more about escaping shame, stigma, or a dating scene that feels unsafe. The good news is that the same voices now encourage self-understanding and non-medical support: therapy to unpack internalized homophobia, community spaces that celebrate gender non-conformity, and the simple recognition that being gay or lesbian is not a defect to be fixed. Freedom lies not in changing one’s body to fit oppressive rules, but in challenging those rules and living authentically as oneself.